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There's a mix of witty short jokes, longer jokes and hilarious one liners so whatever your preference there should be something here for you. This page is updated periodically so make sure to check back regularly for more of our favorite funniest jokes. This morning on the way to work I wasn't really paying attention and I drove into the back of a car at some traffic lights. A woman gets on a bus with her baby.

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The driver says: "Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen. The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to the man next to her: "The driver just insulted me. A man walks into a bar and orders a drink. Then he notices there are pieces of meat nailed to the ceiling of the bar so he asks the barman what they are for.

The barman replies, "If you can jump up and pull one of them down you get free beer all night. The guy who finished second who? Butch, Jimmy and Joe. Butch, Jimmy, and Joe Who?

OLD MAN TELLS FUNNIEST JOKE EVER!

Old lady Old lady who? Dumbbell who?

Top 50 funniest jokes ever told

Q: Why was there thunder and lightning in the lab? A: The scientists were brainstorming! Q: What is the difference between a school teacher and a train?


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Q: What did the leopard say after eating his owner? A: Because he had no-body to go with. Q: What happens if you eat yeast and shoe polish? Well, YES.

That's what I bought them for. You'd be annoyed if you opened it and a socket set fell out.


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  4. This vinegar's got lumps in it". He said: "Those are pickled onions. He sent in 10 different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would win. Unfortunately, no pun in 10 did. It took him two hours to pass me the salt.

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    75+ Hilarious Jokes for Kids - Frugal Fun For Boys and Girls

    The barman says: "Oi - get out. We don't want your type in here. After an hour, the manager came out and asked them to disperse. Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair. I rang her up and said: "Did you get my drift? The barman says: "Sorry, we don't serve food in here.

    Offensive Jokes & Messed Up Jokes

    The barman says: "Is this some kind of joke? The barman says: "I'll serve you, but don't start anything. I said: "I want to report a nuisance caller. We'll see about that. One goes to a family in Egypt and is named Amal. The other goes to Spain and is named Juan. Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving it, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal. Her husband said: "But they are twins.